I send kisses to the sky.

 I send kisses to the sky.

To those I can no longer see, without any specific sense of time; only that they’re no longer on my path.

I send kisses to the sky, definitely, to the versions I once loved of those who hurt me. Because unilateral forgiveness works when what you need is to let go.

I send kisses to the sky for those I loved and who loved me. Because the past can be ignored, but not erased. And because if I did anything for you, even if it was just loving you for a moment, it’s worth sending you those kisses. Under the premise that I did it out of love, you owe me nothing.

I also send kisses to the sky to myself, perhaps more than to anyone else. To the version of me who lacked hugs. To the one who today is in a pit, a dark one I’ll climb out of in a couple of days, but that right now swallows me the way an abyss devours light.

I send kisses to the sky for that time when my voice wouldn’t come out, when I spent weeks without singing, distant from everything that makes me who I am. I send kisses to my tattoos, to the hours studying in Madrid, to every word that, in the form of literature, has brought me happiness and pride. I send kisses to the kilos that left, the ones that made me unhappy but were also part of who I was. I send kisses to the sky so they can illuminate this professional moment that fills me every day.

I send kisses to the sky,
because I have been a daughter, a sister, a friend, a partner. I send you kisses to the sky so that you find them and they fall on you like the rain of a late spring, and so you can rediscover your most beautiful versions. Because moments of doubt hurt deeply, but your strong side is much greater.

I definitely send kisses to the sky because this year I learned that a prayer can be a hope, or a request for help. Because living from the inside out has been the second hardest lesson to learn. Because I have built my life over the last six years with “For Rent” signs, a passport, and the best four-legged friend I’ve ever had.

Finally, I send kisses to the sky for you. Even if you’re far away and I don’t know you. Because in this infinite power we have today to reach every corner of the world through the internet, if a bit of my humanity can reach you through cables and waves, I hope you understand that this human experience of pain happens. And that it moves in cycles.
I send a kiss to the sky for the cycles.